Walking in the clouds.....literally!

Similar in nature to my first “Ode to Thanks” post, this one also relates to fears.  However this time, rather than conquering a fear, I merely looked it in the eye and went to battle with it.

One of my favorite parts of the traveling required for my job is the opportunity it brings to experience so many destinations, some of which I have never seen before.  This, combined with the fact that I rarely have a chance to use my vacation time thus resulting in a plethora of piled up days, yields great opportunity for exploration.  When work takes me to an exciting place and my schedule permits, I always tack on a few vacation days to do some exploring of my own.  For this part of my job, I am extremely THANKFUL!

When I found out relatively last minute that I had to attend an event in Whistler this July, I was initially pretty peeved.  It coincided with our annual family vacation; the one week each year that I actually take holiday. (Spare me the “You’re American, why do you keep saying things like ‘holiday’ and ‘cheers’” comments)  Knowing there wasn’t much I could do about the situation, I dealt with it and started to get excited about the chance to see British Columbia and spend some time in the mountains….in the summertime!  I’ve always heard incredible things about Whistler but really only ever associated it with winter and skiing.  I’m not a snow skier but I LOVE the mountains and outdoors so I quickly began researching things to do in Whistler in the summertime and was overwhelmed with all of the options.  A lover of the outdoors and physical activities, it is a piece of me that I have sadly lost over the years.

Killer overalls and homemade hiking stick!

Growing up in a family of girls (the youngest of four) one might suspect that I (and my sisters) would turn out the dainty debutant type but it was quite the contrary.  I am a self proclaimed pearl wearing, fashion loving tomboy.  From a very young age, my parents had us involved in sports and took us on camping trips at least once a year.  I could bathe in a bucket with a bar of orange Dial soap, survive days on GORP (a mixture of M&M’s, raisins & peanuts) and carve a stellar hiking stick with a pocket knife like nobody’s business. Still to this day I have immaculately vivid images of portions of the Appalachian Trail in Virginia & North Carolina that we hiked annually and can still smell my old faded blue sleeping bag.  (Really REALLY hope my parents still have that somewhere!)  I am so thankful to my parents for giving us these experiences and in turn sprouting my love for all things outdoors and active.

As I mentioned previously (prior to my extra long segue) I sadly let my outdoorsy side slip away.  There are a million reasons why; time, work, location, friends that don’t share the same interest, money, etc. but they are really all sad excuses for silencing something that is such a love of mine.  So, Whistler brought about the perfect opportunity to get back in touch with my outdoorsy adventure self.  I decided I would stay two extra days, because financially that was all I could afford to do, and then began the decision of what big activity I would sign up for.  There were so many things to choose from and so many reviews I read, but I kept going back to this thing called Via Ferrata.   The definition of Via Ferrata is – “Italian for ‘road of iron’ it is a mountain route which is equipped with fixed cables, stemples, ladders and bridges.”  A popular activity throughout Europe, it isn’t as well known in North America and Whistler is one of the few places where it’s offered.  I watched a YouTube video about the Whistler experience and as amazing as it looked, knew I couldn’t do it because of my fear of heights.  I wanted to challenge myself with whatever pursuit I chose, but hiking across a glacier and then scaling a mountain was something my fear of heights definitely wasn’t going to let me do.  Unsatisfied with the lack of thrill that the other options possessed combined with the drive in my gut to sign up for Via Ferrata that wouldn’t go away, I decided to do it.  My biggest fear at the time was that I was going to pay for it (wasn’t cheap), show up and then not be able to do it due to my fear of heights taking control.  I know myself well enough, however, to know that I never back down to a physical challenge and refuse to commit to something without following through.  So really the only step I had to take was calling to book my reservation and provide my credit card number.  From then onward, I knew I’d never let myself turn back.

With the excursion booked and the trip quickly approaching I found myself with that nagging nervous tension in my gut in anticipation of the journey.  I was scared but so excited for the challenge.  Ironically enough, I didn’t realize that my fear of heights (and flying) would get the ultimate test on my way out to Whistler when my flights engine exploded mid-flight.  That added just a wee bit of extra fear :)  So the morning arrives and I hop on the 30 minute gondola ride from Whistler Village, 6,000 ft. up to the top of the mountain hoping that whoever else was doing Via Ferrata that day was in far worse shape than me so that I wouldn’t be “that girl” in the group.  Luckily only three other people had signed up for the excursion that day; a girl from Holland who was spending two years traveling the world and a cute couple from England, all of whom were of equal skill level.

We met our guide, picked out smelly boots, strapped on our harnesses & helmets, grabbed an ice axe and set off on the 5 hour journey.  The typical hike portion to the rock face in the summer is just that, a hike.  However summer failed to visit Whistler this year and virtually none of the snow and ice had melted due to a record cold and wet summer.

Starting point looking out at what I'm about to hike/climb.
 We scale the 2 largest portions of bare rock see n here.

That's me down at the bottom
with the blue backpack.

The least of my concerns leading up to this excursion was whether or not I was physically fit enough to do it.  As arrogant as it may sound, I work out regularly, and while I knew it might be challenging, I wasn’t worried about conquering the physical aspect as much as I worried about the challenge of conquering my fear of heights to get to the top.  What I didn’t expect was how incredibly difficult the hike portion was.  Trekking through deep snow, across a steep slope, knowing that if you slipped you were going to quickly slide down the mountain and have to use the ice axe technique (which I never quite mastered) to stop you was terrifying and grueling.  I was out of breath in no time and questioning why on earth I had signed up for this.  The sheer vastness of the area is hard to grasp and what looked like a hike that could take 20 minutes was in fact a much larger distance that took nearly two hours to cross.   To say I was 10 x more nervous now for what lay ahead is an understatement.

Finally at the bottom of the rock face and preparing to start the climb, the anxiety levels shot through the roof and I wanted nothing more than to be in an Irish pub 5 pints of Guinness deep.  There was no turning back now so I started the climb one step and belay change after the other.  The feeling I had of being at the top of an 8,000 ft. mountain hanging off the side of it was nothing short of sheer terror.  The entire climb was unfortunately a bit of a haze.  My heart felt like it had bricks piled on top of it making breathing difficult, I wanted to vomit and my hands and arms trembled.  A friend of mine who is an experienced climber gave me some advice before my trip saying to only focus on the next step and move.  So, that’s what I did.  I couldn’t for the life of me look down or even around me, and anytime that I had to pause and wait for the person above me I nearly lost it because it meant I was suddenly aware of what I was doing.

Nearing the summit

I think the only disappointing part of the entire adventure was that I wasn’t fearless enough to stop and enjoy the situation I was in.  I had a task to get from point A to point B and I was going to get there as quickly as possible so that I could once again enjoy what it felt like to breathe and function without electricity ravishing my veins.  Another two hours later, I made it to the top and was more relieved than ever to have the task behind me.  I hadn’t died, lost my breakfast or even fallen; even had a few battle wounds to show and was standing 8,000 ft. on top of the world out of my own doing.  I soaked it in as much as I could before we started the decent, during which I busted my rear end numerous times and ripped a hole in my spandex; a seriously inappropriate choice of clothing for the day!

Falling on the decent and trying to use
the ice axe to stop

  We got back to the cabin (our starting point) took off our gear and all went our separate ways.  Even moments after I completed the climb, I felt like it hadn’t actually happened and was merely a dream.  I love that I let my fear drive me to do things out of my comfort zone that I’d never otherwise do, yet hate that my fear keeps me from being able to completely let go.

It was an unbelievable experience and I am SO glad that I chose to do the Via Ferrata.  I knew going into it that completing this task wasn’t going to conquer my fear of heights but it was going to put me face to face with it and show me that I am capable of great challenges.  To be honest, I would rather grab my fears and go to battle with them over conquering them and kissing them goodbye.  It is far more exciting and leaves you with the open ended question and task of ‘what bigger is next’!?

On top of the world, in the clouds!

I am beyond THANKFUL that my job provides me with these types of opportunities and am THANKFUL that God gives me the courage to continually challenge myself and face my fears……and that I haven’t died while doing so!